I can't outwork my fork

When I finally realized that I couldn't out run.....out lift.....out step mill....out workout....my food and fork...

Everything finally clicked!

My husband....the fitness guru...had been telling me this for years....

I had had many trainers tell me this in the past including Dominic and Tarik...

But 

A. I didn't want t hear it

B. I didn't believe them

C. I didn't want to hear it 

What this means is I can't eat a whole pizza and then go run 5 miles the next day to negate the pizza calories.

I can't eat 1400 calories of jelly beans and then do the step mill for 90 minutes to try and burn off the jelly beans.

It just doesn't work this way.

That's why I have a cheat meal or treat once a week read more about that Here...so I don't feel deprived of my favorites.

It also allows me to workout and feel so much better. I don't have the sugar highs and bonks like I used to.

It's is such a simple concept with a huge meaning! 

Once it clicked with me everything started to fall into place. 

The Importance of Cheat Meals

To keep me sane I have one cheat meal a week. 

I do this not only during "show" prep but just life.

I eat healthy. Clean. Fresh. Organic. No soy. No gluten. Tons of veggies. Fruit. Fish only. Day in and day out 5x a day. 

But on either Friday or SaturdaysI have one cheat meal and/or treat. Occasionally both. 

I honestly would rather have a cheat "treat"....chocolate bar than a cheat "meal". 

Post show I had a full week where I had a chocolate bar or two every single night! 

Plus 2 cheat meals...one right after the show of chips and artichoke dip and one Pei Wei salt laden yummieness. 

I fully believe that once people reach their goal...whether it's a weight loss goal or a fitness goal....marathon ...whatever ....that you deserve a cheat meal or treat. 

Now that being said I don't think it should be a cheat day! 

A day is too much...it's too easy to go crazy...that's a whole days worth of calories...food...nutrition...fats...carbs...

I think that once you are where you want to be weight wise...that you should allow yourself a cheat meal/treat. 

I believe it helps you to 

A. Not go crazy

B. Reset your metabolism so that your body doesn't get used to eating the same thing day in and day out...

C. Gives you something to look forward to

D. Helps you to not feel deprived 

E. Did I mention not go crazy? 😉

Now I will say that during show prep I cut out all cheats 3 weeks prior to the show. 

So pick your day...pick your cheat meal and go for it! 

Then your next meal you should be right back on your regular schedule. 

Photo on left was 1 day before first show...weight 119.4

Right photo was after many cheats 3 wks post show...weight 122.

I took off 10 full days. 

Photo on right is after 1 week of working out again, 

I had no heels on and bikini is straight across making body appear wider. 

So waist wider. Abs not as tight. Legs a bit puffy.

Show ready photo was first thing in am.

Right was after 2 meals and 2 snacks. 

Overall not bad. 

Let's get Real about food!

So going into this show I knew that I wanted do it as healthy as I could being that I have such a horrible stomach...read more about that...Here I didn't want to do any crazy things that would mess up my metabolism. I didn't want to starve. I wanted to eat whole real food.

I also knew though that I needed to add more protein to my diet but how could I do that without eating beef, pork, chicken, or turkey...as I only eat fish. 

So let's go back in time to when I decided I wanted to do a NPC bikini show...

June of 2014 I tried many many many different kinds of protein powders to mix in with my daily smoothie....whey and vegan. All they did was blow my stomach up to where I looked 6 months pregnant. It would then take a week to get my stomach readjusted. It was awful!

I did the same with protein bars...tried vegan and whey versions and all they did was wreck my stomach. 

I also tried adding more food to my diet...more calories...but again it just messed me up. 

So after about 6 weeks of trial and error I just thought well I'm gonna do the best I can with my current diet and see where it takes me. 

I then just threw caution to the wind and decided to do it my own way. 

No beef.

No pork.

No chicken. 

No turkey.

No protein powders.

No protein bars. 

No extra food.

Nothing. 

Nada.

I did it my own way. 

My own food.

My own diet. 

So many of these competition diets/preps don't allow most of the foods that I ate and currently eat.

For example fruit...I ate it every single day thruout my entire prep time...even Peak Week! 

Here's an example of what I ate during my prep and what I currently eat.

Breakfast 

Food For Life Baking Organic Ezekiel 4:9 - Cinnamon Raisin Whole Grain Flourless Bread, 24 Ounce 

Kerrygold Naturally Softer Pure Irish Butter

Mid morn snack

Banana

Enjoy Life Decadent Bars

Lunch

Tuna

Slice of horizon cheese

Cup of organic berries

Fage yogurt

Mid afternoon snack

Justin's Chocolate Hazelnut Butter

Food To Live ® Organic Cashews

Dinner

Two whole organic eggs 

Horizon cheese

Two cups of kale, spinach, arugula 

Thank you for supporting my blog. By clicking on the links and making purchases ....you are contributing to my little life. And I thank you! 

Road to my first bikini show Part 1

Why on earth would I want to parade around in a sparkly bikini and clear very tall heels....in front of an audience at age 41????

I asked myself this over and over again during this year of preparation for this show! 

That's right a full year of prep time! 

The only reason I came up with is ......to prove to myself that I could.

So last May I started to follow a friend of a friends journey on social media to her first Figure Compettion. 

And.....

It just went from there. 

I have another super close friend that does Figure Competitions and I started asking her a ton of questions. 

I then found out another acquaintance that did bikini shows...

Then I started to research (BC that's what I do) .....I researched to find out the ins and outs of everything on bikini competitions that I could.

What I needed to look like.

What I needed to eat.

How much muscle I needed to gain.

Posing.

Bikinis.

Coaches.

Jewelry. 

Shoes. 

I researched it all! 

This was taken in April of 2014... Right after I had lost about 7-8 pounds from stopping eating candy. Remember that? Read more about that ...  Here... I  weighed about 120/122ish...

Notice my completely flat as a pancake booty and very string bean arms. 

This was at the end of May 2014 right before I started to change my lifting and cardio. 

So no I certainly didn't look "bad" I realize that.... I was fit...cardio wise...very fit...and had about 100 pounds of lean muscle at this point from years of lifting...

But.....

I knew that this was going to be a huge challenge. 

I knew that I was going to have to work really hard.

I knew that I may get last place. 

I knew that I wanted it really bad!! 

Finding True Health After Disordered Eating And Over Exercising Part 2

If you haven't read my first post Part 1 check it out ...Here.

I joined my first Golds Gym back in 1997. I had been in the working world a few years so I ponied up and bought a membership.

I started doing the elliptical for 30 minutes, taking body pump classes, and lifting weights with a few body builder guys I met. I thought I was a fitness buff! Ha! 

I didn't know the first thing about food or diet. I did however read a ton of magazines and the newest thing to do was to drink H20... The old 64 ounce rule. So I did this.

But my horrible diet stayed the same. Very southern mixed with Mexican queso and chips everyday after I got off work. Tons of sugary foods. Lots of desserts. I had stopped eating fast food at this time...did this back in 1996. But nonetheless my diet was still really bad. Really bad! 

This was 1997. Lots of elliptical and bad nutrition. 

I decided I wanted to run my first 5K ...I thought well I've been doing the elliptical surely I can run! 

Hahaha! How stupid was this! I literally had never run a block...but I signed up to run 3.1 miles! 

About 1/2 a mile in I thought my heart was going to explode and I had to have the golf cart pick me up...so I never even finished! 

This was from that very first race! (Thank goodness fitness apparel has changed!)

I wore the wrong shoes...1full size too small....non running sunglasses...they used to slip all over my face...I used to not even wear a hat...omg the sun damage!! 

I soon realized running was wayyyy harder than I thought. Wayyyyy! 

And I knew nothing about running! Nothing!

I ordered a subscription to Runners World. And made running my goal. 

When I first started I couldn't run a block. I would run from mailbox to mailbox. After many months of this....I was able to run a mile...then 2 ....then 3.....

And then that's what I did...for years ...many many many years. I ran. 3miles. 5ks. 5 milers. 10ks. 1/2 marathons. Treadmill runs. Outside runs. Long runs on Sundays. Races races and more races! 

Run. Run. Run. 

I ran in rain. Snow. 

I ran out of bad relationships. 

And into new careers.

Running was my constant. I was in control. 

And I got thin....very very thin....

I ran 4-5x a week for 16 years! 

What was I running from? 

Stay tuned...part 3 is coming...

Penguin Unit Study

We started a new Unit Study these past few weeks...as we school year round...it helps to keep her focused. We love doing unit studies in the summer...instead of sticking to a curriculum. It takes us on such great rabbit trails!

Check out our new unit study on PENGUINS!

We read Mr. Popper's Penguins...it is just the greatest book ever! Our friend the librarian told us he wrote his very first book report on it! We watched Mr. Popper's Penguins...not as good as the book but still super sweet. 

We also read Antarctic Antics: A Book of Penguin Poems...
Penguins!...
National Geographic Readers: Penguins!

Face to Face with Penguins

Pierre the Penguin: A True Story

She drew penguins...we like to use really nice drawing pads...Strathmore 9-Inch by 12-Inch Spiral Drawing Notebook, 50-Sheet 

And I prefer for her to use these colored pencils...they make beautiful pieces of art...

LYRA Waldorf Selection Unlacquered Triangular Giant Colored Pencils, Set of 12 Super Ferby Pencils, Assorted Colors (3711121)

She acted out and has played "trapping" penguins for weeks now! Cutting, glueing, and making her own penguins.  

She uses this Penguin Popper and this cutie Wooden Emperor Penguin  as part of her imaginary play!

Happy Summer to you all! 

Part 3 Finding Blance

So what was I running from...what was I looking for?

Me. 

I was looking for self acceptance.
True self acceptance.
Self love.

(If your feeling a bit lost...read Here to catch up on my story of disordered eating.)

I lifted very little weight until meeting my husband in 2004. 

I would go to the gym. Do a few light weight bicep curls with a 5 pound dumbbells.  A few shoulder pressed with same 5's. Do a leg extension on 35 pounds. And maybe some abs on the ball. Then call it a day. Plus I was still running 4-5x a week sometimes more.

Photo circa 2004...notice bad posture and very little muscle. And very thin!

When my hubs first measured my body composition I had 96 pounds of lean muscle...which is very low....and weighed about 118. Meaning I was very thin with very little muscle. I was basically running off not only any fat I had but muscle as well. 

PLUS.....

I was still feeling dizzy.

I was not eating enough to maintain my running. 

I was super tired a lot. 

He set me up with a trainer...that I worked out with 2-3x a week.  This was a game changer for me. Not only did he teach me the right way to lift weights...but he also taught me about food. The importance of fueling my body. 

Now let me be honest....a lightbulb didn't go off and one day I wasn't eating enough and the next day I did....

It didn't happen that way...it was a learning process. 

With the loving help of my husband Brad and my trainer Tarik...I learned how many calories I should be consuming. When I should eat. What I should eat. The importance of balance. Carbs. Fats. Protein. Water. 

Photos circa 2006 after lifting for a few years. So I had added about 4 pounds of muscle. 

Adding this muscle did wonders for my self image! 

So for many years I followed this schedule.

Cardio 3-5x a week anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour

Lifted weights and strength trained 2-3x a week for an hour each session

And while yes I put on some muscle...it took a very long time! Very long!! 

Years actually.

It took me 2 years of following this schedule to get over 100 pounds of muscle! 

2 years to gain 4 pounds of muscle. 

So yes the scale might have moved up a bit but maybe just a few pounds....maybe up to 121/122.

I was eating more food. 

Taking in more calories. 

Feeling better.

Not dizzy. 

Looking more healthy for sure with only a few extra pounds. 

And a lot more self love, self care, and the love of a new marriage and husband. 

(But I still had horrible stomach issues...this didn't get fixed until recently read about that...Here)

Road to my bikini show debut next post....thanks everyone for reading and sharing this post!

Disordered Eating and beyond...Part 1

When I was 15 when I saw my first "Fitness" competition. 

I was at my friends house when it came on tv. 

The super muscled up girls. 

The tan. 

The dance routines. 

The bikinis.

I wanted to be those girls! 

I was a naturally thin teenager...and I loved working out...I had found what I loved to do. 

I started doing step aerobics in my living room ...Jane Fonda videos....I know I know...it was the 80s. 

I did step for Sooo long...years actually 3-4 days a week. But I looked the same. Never really made any changes to my body. Less body fat yes but I added zero muscle.

Then I became super obsessed with working out...I completely overdid it...I was 21/22 and did so much cardio that I got down to under 100 pounds...at 5' 8". I would do 1-1.5 hours of cardio daily and  I was not eating enough..to sustain my crazy workouts.  My hair started to fall out. My friends were super worried about me. I looked awful. And felt even worse. I was dizzy everyday...all day. This went on for about 6 months. 

Healthy normal weight vs. obsessive cardio and too low calories. 

I started seeing a psychiatrist who immediately put me on antidepressants...Prozac and Paxil...and I gained 50 pounds....for a person with disordered eating and over exercising...50 pounds was too much. Very Unhealthy. And really messed with my head for many years. I went from a negative size 0 to a size 14 in a year and a half. 

I needed talk therapy...not a pill.

I needed someone to guide me to how to exercise the right way....how to not overdo it.

I needed a healthy role model. 

I needed someone well versed in food...to help me make healthy choices...a balance. 

I got none of these things. 

Just a pill and weight gain of 50 pounds. 

After the 50 pound gain!!

The crazy thing is when you take these pills you think you look great. So I never knew how horrible I looked. How bloated. Puffy. Unhealthy. 

Bloated and puffy! 

Until I was in Chicago..by the Sears Towers...I was 24ish walking down the street thinking I looked amazing. I had a purple tight silky shirt on with purple sunglasses...(yes I know horrible)... It was the mid 1990s...those huge mirrored towers showed a different version of what I thought I looked like. When I saw this ridiculous girl walking with a too tight shirt on and fat rolls...I realized it was me....I cried all the way back home. 6 hours. 

I immediately went on a "diet" meaning I cut out YooHoo chocolate milk drinks replacing them with water...and for lunch I had a lunchable. I thought this was super healthy. It was 1997. I lost about 15 pounds very quickly. But I was no where near fit. Not at all. 

Down about 15 pound but not healthy or fit...not by a long shot! 

Still very unhealthy. I thought diet cokes and bean burritos were healthy. 

To be continued.....